In my last post I shared my story of abandonment, abuse and depression. This is part 2 of my story; where I will share God’s grace, and my redemption. To read part one follow the link below.
When I left off I spoke about a man whom my childhood friend introduced me to. As you probably already guessed this man is Jesus. But stick with me, because this story doesn’t end here.
I meet my childhood friend in 7th grade. We grew up together and shared some of the same struggles. When we were 19, my friend told me that see was invited to this church by another friend. And that her life had began to change. She told me that she now felt a sense of purpose, and acceptance and love. The way she talked about Jesus, was like nothing I had ever experienced before.
He was her personal savior, a very real part of her life. I could see the change in her was more than just superficial. She truly had a renewed mind, and heart. Her love for God, and her obedience to the Word of God became an inspiration for me.
Far from happily ever after
That same year, I began to date the man who I have now been married to for 11 years. We married just 4 months later. I would love to say that we were perfect together. But I learned that nothing good comes easy, and some things are worth fighting for.
And fight we did, literally. We were two strong willed, broken people. Who loved each other one minute, and wanting to rip each others heads off the next.
When I shared my marital struggles with my childhood friend, she told me how God and prayer was changing things in her own marriage. She then invited my husband and I to church. Within a few months my husband and I were baptized, and days later I found out I was pregnant with our son Noah.
Still not there yet
We did not instantly fall in love with God, and live in obedience as my friend did. We continued to drink, fight, and walk in disobedience to the Word of God. We were poor financially and poor in spirit. We drank and partied to numb our spiritual brokenness, and to deal with the pain we caused each other. At one point we were even homeless.
However there was a fire that kindled inside of me. A faith that was continuing to rise.I began to secretly pray for my marriage, and over all the struggles I was facing. I continued to go to church on and off, because I knew that there was something special there, that I could not get from the world.
Renewed By Grace
As I look back over those years I see the steps of renewal taking place in my life. We began to grow financially, and I began to grow spiritually. God gave us a stable home, and blessed us with two more beautiful children. Yet that was still just the beginning.
I randomly woke up one morning, and heard the voice of God calling me into ministry. I then began to feel him, hear him, and experience his love and blessings in my life more intimately. The Lord taught me how to minister, by leading me to a wonderful Bible College, where I graduated with a 4.0. God also led me and my family to a church home, which has become a second family to us.
That first baby girl that I clung to, and refused to give up. She is a sophomore in High-school, and she embodies everything that’s good in me. The baby boy that I found out I was pregnant with right after I was baptized. He’s growing into a man after God’s own heart; with faith and prayers that can move mountains. My husbands faith is growing, and he is now moving in prayer ministry.
But best of all, the Lord has led me to programs, counselors, and books that have set in motion my process of healing. I am learning how to cope with my pain and depression. I also no longer have such a significant fear of rejection. In Christ I feel loved, and accepted, and cherished. His strength carries me when I feel that I am too weak to go on. Oh and how his grace renews me every day.
Cords of Kindness
The Lord has taken all of my struggles, heart break, and pain, and used it for good. So I created cordsofkindness.com to share the love, comfort, encouragement, and grace that I have received myself. That others would be led to God with cords of human kindness and ropes of love.
If you would like to learn more about the tools God has given me to heal from trauma. Subscribe to cordsofkindness.com at the top of your screen. And don’t forget to follow me on social media.